A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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