I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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