we have pet lesbian snakes
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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