The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
