Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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