Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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