I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
