and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
