P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
