When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
ugly people sure do ruin things
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
