i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I would fuck him just for his dog
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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