Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
my liver is dry heaving
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
