Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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