so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
