So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
