So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
