break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
