the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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