Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Can Purell be used as lube?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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