nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
