Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
