The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I wish i was in the wii world.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
