I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
