I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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