Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
