Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Well I just put wine in my tea
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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