we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
