On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
