They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
