As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize