I wanna bring you to show and tell
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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