My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have fence marks all over my body
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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