Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
