If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
