I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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