I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
