Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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