sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
