i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
