I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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