I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
