We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
