started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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