One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
