Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
