She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
