There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
