a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize