Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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