I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think a kid would responsible me up
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
