Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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