i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
