oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
