I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
