I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
