She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
