she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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