I think i peed on brittanys purse
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I would ride that face into the sunset
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
