It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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