I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
