sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
