bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
